In the past weeks I’ve posted Session 1,  Session 2 and Session 3 of our online Small Group Leader Training.  Next Friday I will post the final session of this series.  Please feel free to take them and use them at your church. If you see something that you would change…let me know.  Working together we can make each module better.

Dealing with Difficult Situations
Introduction

Welcome to Session 4, Dealing with Difficult Situation. During this session, you will learn how you how to effectively handle difficult group situations as they emerge.  An online journal has been provided for you to record your notes and thoughts, or feel free to use a notebook of your own.  Be sure to bring your notes when you meet with your mentor.

Part 1
Our Group Edutainment Video
“The Group Outing”

Watch Episode 4 of the video series, “Our Group”.   During a group outing, Chris learns about the different personality’s of the group members.  When you have finished watching the video, reflect on the following questions:

Episode 4: The Group Outing from Seacoast Church on Vimeo.

• What stood out to you the most from this episode of “Our Group”?
• Which of the personality types would be most difficult for you to deal with?  Why?
• What are ways you have seen these different difficult personality’s express themselves in the context of a small group?

Part 2
Video Teaching with Josh Surratt
Dealing with Difficult Situations

When relationships deepen in your group, conflict is often bound to arise.  During this session, Josh discusses the importance of Biblical practices in handling difficult group situations.  Watch this video teaching and then answer the questions below.

Dealing With Difficult Situations from Seacoast Church on Vimeo.

• What are some examples of difficult situations you may face as a Small Group Leader?
• What could possibly happen in a group when a group leader doesn’t address the problems that come up with various difficult people?
• Review the following key concepts that Josh discusses.  Which of these principles do think you will need to work on the most?
  o Commit to telling the truth
  o Deal with issues quickly
  o Always speak positively about group members
  o Seek to understand the need of the difficult person
  o Clear the air – don’t let resentment settle into your group
  o Act in a loving way toward each group member
• Reflect on a difficult situation that you have been involved in either at work, as a small group member or with a friend.    How did the experience make you feel? How could the situation have benefitted from the application of the conflict principles that Josh discusses?
• What would your strategy be for managing the following types of group conflict:
  oIf someone in the group constantly turns discussion into debate?
  o If someone in the group is too needy?
  o If someone in the group dominates the discussion?
  o If someone in the group never participates in group discussion?

Part 3
ExploreRead the following Bible passage, Ephesians 4:25-32, and reflect on the questions below:

• How would you describe what was going on in Ephesus?
• List four or five of the basic principles Paul mentions in this passage about dealing with difficult people.

Part 4
The Challenge
1. Ask your mentor/group leader how they have handled each of the various kinds of difficult people?

2. Faciliate group discussion and have your mentor observe you and give you feedback on how you handled various people.

3.  Look for an opportunity at home, work or small group to practice one or more of the principles from Ephesians 4.  Journel the interaction, then talk with your mentor about the experience.

Facilitating Group Discussion
In November I posted Session 1 and Session 2 of our online Small Group Leader Training.  I’ve had several people ask for the remaining sessions so over the next 3 Friday’s I will be posting these.  Please feel free to take them and use them at your church. If you see something that you would change…let me know.  Working together we can make each module better.

Introduction
Welcome to Session 3, Facilitating Group Discussion. During this session, you will learn and practice skills to facilitate group discussion.  We encourage you to use a journal to record your answers to these questions. An online journal has been provided for you, too. Be sure to bring your notes when you meet with your mentor.

Part 1
Our Group Edutainment Video

“Discussion Derailed”
Watch Episode 3 of the video series, “Our Group” where Chris is asked to facilitate the group discussion in Doug and Michelle’s absense.  When you have finished watching the video, reflect on the questions below:

Edutainment 3

Episode 3: “Discussion Derailed” from Seacoast Church on Vimeo.

• What stood out to you the most from this episode of “Our Group”?
• How would you rate the discussion questions that were being asked by the leaders?
• What mistakes stood out to you in this episode?
• What do you think was going through Chris’ mind as discussion spiraled out of control?
• What mistakes do small group leaders commonly make that lead to discussion being derailed?
• In your opinion, what are some key elements for generating dynamic discussion in a small group?

Part 2
Video Teaching with Josh Surratt
Facilitating Discussion
Watch the followingtTeaching video and then answer the questions below.

Facilitating Discussion from Seacoast Church on Vimeo.

• How does the discussion time during small group help build good friendships?
• What challenges do small group leaders typically face in generating good discussion?
• Which of Josh’s tips helped you the most?
  • Great discussion starts before the study
  • Try an icebreaker
  • Don’t ask a bad question
  • Get comfortable with silence
  • Ask Follow up questions
• What are some ways you can get quiet people to participate?
• What are some ways you can help your group refocus if discussion goes off track?
• How long should the small group discussion time (study time) go for?

Part 3
Explore Read the following Bible passage, Luke 10:25-37, and reflect on the questions below:

• Describe  Jesus’  teaching method in this passage?
• Why do you think Jesus used this teaching method so frequently?
• Why is it important to allow people to think through information and participate in the learning process?
• What challenges do you think small group leaders sometimes encounter as they use discussion as the primary method of learning?

Part 4
The Challenge: Working with your mentor choose one of the following assignments that is most appropriate for your developmental level.  Then discuss with them what you did well and what you could improve.

• Choose a passage of Scripture and practice writing 4-5 discussion questions that you can share with your small group leader/ mentor to evaluate.
• Work with your small group leader/mentor prior to group to watch them prepare the questions for the group study time.  Try to understand their reasoning for asking certain questions.  Evaluate the questions using the 5 C’s Josh shared.
• If you are new to facilitating small group discussion have your small group leader/mentor let you lead the icebreaker/opening question at the next small group meeting.
• Lead a subgroup during one of your next small group meetings.  A sub-group is when the leader breaks the group into 2-3 smaller groups to discuss one or two questions during the small group meeting time.
• Facilitate the group discussion at one of the upcoming small group meetings, then meet with your mentor to discuss how you did.

Last week I had the chance to hang out with my friend Heather Zempel the Discipleship Pastor at National Community Church.  Heather has a strong passion for group life and is a great thinker in the area of discipleship.  When she first went on staff at NCC her lead pastor Mark Batterson empowered her to think through how discipleship should best be accomplished.  This led her on a quest to study church history and discover how the church has grown disciples down through the ages.  Her insights are facinating and in this short video she gives an overview of what she learned on this journey.  Trust me you will enjoy the content in this brief clip.  Also Heather has captured these lessons in dyanmic new workbook that has just been released with Lifeway titled Sacred Roads.  If you’re looking for a fresh new study for your small group give Sacred Roads a try.  Make sure you check out  Heathers blog by CLICKING HERE and follower her on twitter @heatherzempel.

This week I had the opportunity to be at one of Leadership Networks Innovation Labs.  This particular Lab focused on The Radical Future of Small Groups.  During these two days eight churches (Seacoast Church, Cross Point CommunityChurch, Calvary Chapel Ft Lauderdale, Ada Bible Church, North Coast Church, Christian Community Church, National Community Church, North Ridge Church) gathered to discussed what cultural factors are influencing groups, look at what small groups might look like in the next ten years and develop plans that will help our churches make necessary adjustments.

The Innovation Labs aren’t designed to teach or tell you what to do, it’s more of a collaborative effort to think, dream, discuss and innovate.  Several of you on Twitter asked me to share notes from this two day experience.  Because it was such an interactive and creative process I didn’t take a lot of notes but here’s my late night effort to provide something for those who asked…

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  • The eight churches in the room brainstormed what they felt where the most significant societal changes over the past 20 years that are greatly impacting the future of groups…  There was a long list but here are some of the top answers.
    • Multisite
    • Instant Global communication
    • Social Networking – Technology
    • Missional idea is in vogue
    • Options for everything…more and more choices every where you go
    • Our third place is no longer the front porch…it’s now Starbucks  (home, work, third place is the other place you meet people)  For some the third place is Facebook.
    • Culture is desensitized, over-sexualized and more tolerant
    • Social justice movement (Bono One Campaign)
    • Explosion of addiction and Recovery as a result of that
    • Desire for personalized/customized spiritual journey
• We have to make adjustments in small groups that help people stop compartmentalizing life and faith. 
• There is a huge buzz around mid-sized missional communties that gather groups around a particular mission. 
• Something needs to be done to engage the 20-30 year olds, they are black hole in the church.  Churches are struggling to engage them.
• Small groups are the vehicle to make mission happen
• When www.smallgrouptrader asked over 100 small group directors what their biggest issues where the top three were…  Recruiting, training and resources.
• With the further development of technology churches are trending toward providing leadership training online.
• Some church leaders are afraid to go the missional route because they’re afraid they’ll lose community and care but community and care actually skyrockets.
• We used to think once people are discipled we need to get them to serve.  Today we get people to serve in order to experience discipleship. 
• If you want small groups to be a priority in your church then make the gutsy move to eliminate the ministries that compete with groups.
• De-centralize your missional efforts by empowering small groups to make a difference in the community.
• The church has to pay attention to the social networking movement.  It’s not going away and while we still need face to face as our primary way of relating social networking can help sustain and enhance those relationships.
• You can’t ignore the corporate culture of your church as you design and change your small group ministry.  Understand the values of your senior leader because you cant violate their culture.

What adjustments is your church considering with groups ministry?

It’s that time of year again when small group leaders are starting to think about next semester of groups and ask that old familar question: What’s a good curriculum I can use?  Now the funny thing is there have been times I’ve shared my top curriculum choice with someone only to have them say, “Yea, I tried that one and it didn’t work for me.”

Everyone is looking for that “perfect” curriculum. But the truth is it’s not about the curriculum, its about the conversation. In small groups the leaders objective is to engage group members in meaningful conversation about their spiritual walk.  Admittedly some curriculums are better than others, but a great small group leader can take a bad curriculum and still generate great conversation. 

Here are a few keys to remember regardless of the curriculum you use…

• Prepare in advance.  This doesn’t mean an hour or two in advance.  Begin 4-5 days before your next group session to look at the passage or topic that will be discussed during your next group meeting. By looking at the study early it allows you to get the key thought in your mind so the Holy Spirit can begin to speak to you about that subject over a period of days rather than in the last hour.
• Learn to ask good questions.  I’ve never found a curriculum where I used every  single question exactly as it was written.  It’s okay to rewrite some of the questions to fit your style and to fit the personality of your group.  Here are four questions I ask about questions to see if they are usable.
  • Is it clear?
  • Is it conversational?
  • Is it challenging?
  • Is it concise? (Only one question rather than 2-3 questions in one)
• Make sure you are growing.  As the leader if you share how God has spoken to you on the subject or through the passage others will tend to open up and share from their lives as well.  I like to remind new group leaders, “Growing people grow people.”
• Help group members put the lesson into action.  If we help our small group members simply fill their heads with theory and truths but never challenge them to put the lessons into action then life change will not take place.  Challenge your small group members to come up with specific application from each session.  Or perhaps, choose a project that will help the entire group put the lesson into practice.

What are other keys to generating engaging spiritual conversations in small groups?

On Wednesday November 4, I posted Session One of Seacoast Church new online Small Group Training.  As we are preparing to launch this new training we thought we would get your input.  We had a great response so we decided to put session two our there as well.  Please take a few minutes to work your way through this session then send me an email with your feedback.  See something that you would change…let me know.  Working together we can make each module better.

Planning and Organizing Your Small Group

Introduction

Welcome to Session 2, Planning and Organizing Your Small Group. During this session you will learn what truly matters while preparing for your small group meeting.  An online journal has been provided for you to record your notes and thoughts, or feel free to use a notebook of your own.  Be sure to bring your notes when you meet with your mentor.

Part 1

Watch Part 2 of the video series, “Our Group” where Doug and Michelle ask Chris to lead the group for his first time.   When you have finished watching the video, reflect on the questions below:Edutainment Video – “Flying Solo”

Episode 2: “Flying Solo” from Seacoast Church on Vimeo.

• What stood out to you the most from this episode of Our Group?
• List the mistakes that were made in this episode of “Our Group”.  Which could you relate to the most? 
• What are the common mistakes a small group leader makes in setting an atmosphere for a comfortable group experience? 
• Reflect on a time you had an uncomfortable or awkward small group experience.  What did you learn from that experience?  If you had been leading the group what would you have done differently?

Part 2

Video Teaching - Planning and Organizing Your Small Group with Josh Surratt

During this session, Josh discusses the four essential elements of planning for a small group meeting. When you have finished watching the video, reflect on the questions below:

Teaching Video

Planning and Organizing Your Small Group from Seacoast Church on Vimeo.

• What stood out to you the most from Josh’s video teaching?
• How did Josh’s teaching change your perspective on preparing for your small group meeting? 
• What is most important to you when setting the group atmosphere?  Why is setting a comfortable group atmosphere so important? 
• How can you share some of the responsibility of preparing for group time with your group members?  What roles can they play?

Part 3

Explore the Word – Read the following Bible passage and reflect on the questions below:

Proverbs 15:22
Without counsel plans fail,
but with many advisers they succeed.
  
Proverbs 16:3
Commit your work to the Lord,
and your plans will be established.
 
Proverbs 16:9
The heart of man plans his way,
but the Lord establishes his steps.
  
Proverbs 21:5
The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance,
but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.

• Which of these Proverbs about planning stood out to you the most?  Why?
• Do you tend to underplan or overplan?  Why?
• How can a lack of planning impact the small group experience?
• How can overplanning impact the small group experience?
• What steps do you need to take to have a balanced approach to planning your small group?

 Part 4

The Challenge
During this session you have learned the importance of planning and preparing for your small group meeting.  Since you are preparing to lead here are a few assignments you can do that will help you be better prepared when it’s time to lead your own group.

1. Meet with your current small group leader/mentor and discuss what they are doing to prepare for their next group meeting.  How do they prepare for study time?  How do they set the group atmosphere?   How do they help their group members make new people feel welcome?
2. Serve as the host of small group.  Ask your current leader/mentor to let you host the next small group meeting in your home.  If that isn’t possible then arrive early to the group meeting next time and assist the leader in hosting wherever the group meets.
3. Using the following questions below, think through the details of preparing to start your own small group.   Discuss your plan with your mentor.

•  
  • Who will you invite to your small group?
  • When are you planning on meeting?  How often? 
  • What are you planning on studying?
  • What roles in the group will you delegate?
  • Where will you meet?  Describe the atmosphere you hope to create. 
  • What do you plan on doing the first time you meet as a group?

Part 5

Meet with Your Mentor

Schedule a time to meet with your mentor and discuss what you learned from the various aspects of this session.

(For Blog readers – The mentor is typically the learners small group leader and is provided with a Mentor Guide that summarizes this lesson and provides questions for them to ask during the mentoring session)

Okay now it is time to give us some feedback…what can we do to make this session better?

I had the opportunity recently to sit down with Eric Metalf and talk about Small Group Coaching.  Eric is the Small Groups Director at Christian Community Church, a multisite church with eleven different campuses.  Eric was also recently named the director of the New Thing Network.  CCC is an amazing church where Lead Pastor Dave Ferguson has built a rich leadership development culture where multiplication has become a part of their DNA. In this video Eric shares some of the things he has learned about making small group coaching work.

For three years now at Seacoast Church we have been using a Hi-tech, Hi-Touch online approach for our small group leader training.  However, we noticed some deficiencies in our old training we weren’t happy with, so we did a revision. Our old training sessions consisted of short talking head videos along with some interactive journals, etc.  We felt it was missing an emotional element.  So our Creative Team got together and wrote what you might call a 5 part Small Group Sitcom.  The sitcom element is intended to add some humor and examples (sometimes very bad examples) of small group leadership.  As you watch the episodes it causes you to consider your own past small group experiences and creates a foundation for discussion with a mentor.

We are still editing the written portion of this training and thought, ”Hey, why not throw it out on the blog for others to experience and give feedback.”  So here is session one, we would love your input and ideas to make it better.  Enjoy. 

 The Heart of a Small Group Leader

Welcome to Session 1, The Heart of a Small Group Leader.  During this session we will discover the essential characteristics of a small group leader.   An online journal has been provided for you to record your notes and thoughts or feel free to use a notebook of your own.  Be sure to bring your notes when you meet with your mentor.

Part 1

Video – “The Invitation”

Watch Part I of the video series, “Our Group” where Chris is asked by Doug and Michelle to take over their small group once they move away.  When you have finished watching the video, reflect on the following questions:

• What was your reaction when you were asked to be a small group leader?
• In what ways did you identify with Chris?
• What would you consider to be five (5) characteristics of a great small group leader?
• What doubts or fears do you have about being a small group leader?
• What excites you the most about being a small group leader?

Small Group Leader Edu-tainment 1 from Seacoast Church on Vimeo.

Part 2

Video Teaching – The Heart of a Leader with Josh Surratt

During this session, Josh discusses the characteristics of a leader. When you have finished watching the video, reflect on the questions below:

The Heart of A Leader from Seacoast Church on Vimeo.

• What stood out to you the most from Josh’s video teaching?
• Which of the following myths describes your thoughts about leading a small group?
  • Spending hours in preparation
  • Being a super-shepherd
  • Being a biblical scholar
• In what way did the truths Josh shared change your perspective on leading a small group?  Which of these do you need to focus on the most as a new leader?
  • Be Available
  • Help people connect
  • Be a learner

Part 3

Explore the Word – Read the following Bible passage and reflect on the questions below:

Shepherds and Sheep
1 The word of the LORD came to me: 2 “Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel; prophesy and say to them: ‘This is what the Sovereign LORD says: Woe to the shepherds of Israel who only take care of themselves! Should not shepherds take care of the flock? 3 You eat the curds, clothe yourselves with the wool and slaughter the choice animals, but you do not take care of the flock. 4 You have not strengthened the weak or healed the sick or bound up the injured. You have not brought back the strays or searched for the lost. You have ruled them harshly and brutally. 5 So they were scattered because there was no shepherd, and when they were scattered they became food for all the wild animals. 6 My sheep wandered over all the mountains and on every high hill. They were scattered over the whole earth, and no one searched or looked for them.

11 ” ‘For this is what the Sovereign LORD says: I myself will search for my sheep and look after them. 12 As a shepherd looks after his scattered flock when he is with them, so will I look after my sheep. I will rescue them from all the places where they were scattered on a day of clouds and darkness. 13 I will bring them out from the nations and gather them from the countries, and I will bring them into their own land. I will pasture them on the mountains of Israel, in the ravines and in all the settlements in the land. 14 I will tend them in a good pasture, and the mountain heights of Israel will be their grazing land. There they will lie down in good grazing land, and there they will feed in a rich pasture on the mountains of Israel. 15 I myself will tend my sheep and have them lie down, declares the Sovereign LORD. 16 I will search for the lost and bring back the strays. I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak, but the sleek and the strong I will destroy. I will shepherd the flock with justice.

• Underline the positive characteristics of spiritual leadership in Ezekiel 34:11-16
• What happens when people don’t have good spiritual leadership?
• In your own words, what are the positive characteristics of a spiritual leader?

Part 4

The Challenge

Now that you’ve thought through some key characteristics of small group leadership, now it’s time to put what you’ve learned into  practice.  Take time over the next few days and practice the following:

• Have a meaningful spiritual conversation with someone in your small group, someone at work or at school. 
• Pray with someone in your small group individually about a concern in their life.
• When you meet with your mentor be prepared to discuss the following questions regarding your experience:
  • Overall how did you feel as you practiced these two challenges (ie…Uncomfortable, Timid, Energized)
  • What difficulties did you experience? 
  • What would you do differently next time? 
  • What did you learn from these experiences?

Part 5

Meet with Your Mentor

Schedule a time to meet with your mentor and discuss what you learned from the various aspects of this session.

(For Blog readers – The mentor is typically the learners small group leader and is provided with a Mentor Guide that summarizes this lesson and provides questions for them to ask during the mentoring session) 

Okay now it is time to give us some feedback…what can we do to make this session better?

Do you need some help with the small group ministry at your church?  Are you looking for tips and training for your leaders?  Then you have to check out www.smallgrouptrader.com.  This new website is actually an extreme makeover of the old Small Group Exchange  website. 

Nearly a year ago the guys at Bluefish.tv asked me to serve on their advisory board for The Small Group Exchange.  During this time I’ve had the opportunity to get to know Scott Mosely, Director of Operations, and Mark McCartney, Director of Events and have discovered these guys have a huge heart for the Kingdom and an unmatched desire to help the local church.  They also display a passion for excellence  by always evaluating what they are doing.  So check out the new version of this site and let us know what you think.  What do you like?  What do you not like?  What do we need to add to better serve your needs as a small group pastor, coach or leader?  We really do want to hear from you.

You’ll love this site, it features training sessions, articles, videos, resources and Case studies. (Make sure you check out the Seacoast Church Small Group Case Study)

I had the opportunity to hang out with Bill Donahue in a recent trip to Chicago.  Bill has worked with Small groups at Willow Creek Community Church and the Willow Creek Association since 1992.  He is the author of several books including Leading Life Changing Small Groups and Coaching Life Changing Small Group Leaders.  More than anyone else Bill has shaped my thinking and philosophy of small group ministry. In this video Bill gives some key principles for making small group coaching work.