Compelled by the grace of God spiritual leaders serve selflessly, love extravagantly and give sacrificially.  But frequently it’s their untiring efforts for the cause of Christ that bring exhaustion physically, emotionally and spiritually.  Isn’t it ironic that serving the God we love can cause us to feel distant from the God we love to serve?  That’s why it’s essential that the leaders greatest priority is the care of his or her own soul.

There have been plenty of times my spiritual tank has been so low I can’t seem to get myself back into a healthy place with God.   It’s in these times I need someone else’s perspective, wisdom and faith to boost my own.  That’s why I value Soul Care Conversations as a vital part of my spiritual regimen.  These discussions with trusted spiritual friends nourish my soul and keep my perspective in alignment with God’s perspective.

Even the most mature leaders need these types of conversations.   King Hezekiah was the most spiritually mature king Israel had known in years, yet when the King of Assyria threatened to destroy Israel, he found himself under a tremendous amount of stress.  As his soul began to weaken under the weight of the situation he sent word to Isaiah informing him of the situation.  Hezekiah’s words reflect his concern, as he put on sackcloth and ashes he said, “This day is a day of distress and rebuke and disgrace, as when children come to the point of birth and there is no strength to deliver them.” (Isaiah 37:3)   

Sensing his weariness Isaiah spoke God’s truth to Hezekiah saying, “ This is what the LORD says: Do not be disturbed by this blasphemous speech against me from the Assyrian king’s messengers. Listen! I am going to put a spirit in him so that when he hears a certain report, he will return to his own country, and there I will have him cut down with the sword.” (Isaiah 37:5-7).   Isaiah’s words in this soul care conversation helped Hezekiah see the situation from God’s perspective and  infused him with the hope, faith and courage he needed to move forward.

If you’re finding that your soul is weary maybe it’s time for some soul care conversations.  Here are a few questions that might help stimulate the discussion.

• What’s the freshest thing God has been doing in your life lately?
• How full is your emotional, physical and spiritual tanks?   Empty, quarter filled, half, three quarters or full.
• What theme does God seem to be emphasizing in this season of your life?
• If you could see God do one thing over the next 30 days what would it be?
• What’s God been saying to you through His Word recently?
• What passion is God stirring in your soul recently?
• What season best describes your spiritual life right now: Winter, spring summer or fall?  Why?
• What’s exciting you the most in your spiritual journey these days?
• What are you most excited about what God is doing in, through or around you?

This Weeks Leadership Challenge: Seek out a trusted spiritual friend and have a honest open soul care conversation.

This week marks the One Year Birthday of my blog.  A little over a year ago our Senior Pastor Greg Surratt challenged me to start blogging about leadership.  To be honest I was reluctant but felt God was using him to urge me in this direction.  So I’ve made it one year.  Here are three lessons I’ve learned after a year of blogging.

1.  Blogging is a discipline.  Once I was convinced to start I got excited but two months into it I began to wonder what in the world I was going to write about.  The experts I read said if you are going to start blogging make a commitment to a certain number of posts per week.  I committed to 4-5 per week and quickly discovered that it requires discipline to think, plan and write that often.  While it is difficult the discipline is good for me.

2.  Blogging is a great personal growth experience.  Before I started blogging I had to answer the “Why” question.  Why was I going to blog?  After praying and thinking about it for some time I decided I was going to blog in order to chronicle what I am learning about leadership.  As a leader I want to learn something new everyday and blogging forces me to look for new leadership lessons and then put into words what I’m learning.

3.  Blogging is a great way to spread ideas and philosophies.  One of the greatest surprises throughout the year is how many people are reading and giving such encouraging feedback.  I’m very passionate about my  beliefs on leadership and it has been so rewarding to be able to get some of my core beliefs out to those who who are hungry to learn more about leadership and leadership development. 

So for all those who are reading…THANK YOU so much for your faithful readership and constant encouragement.

 To celebrate our 24th anniversary Cindy and I wanted to take the kids on a cruise. So last week we set sail to the Bahamas on the Carnival Sensation.  This was one of the best vacations we’ve had in years.  As you think about your summer vacation here are three things to keep in mind to make the best of your time away.

1.  Clarify Expectations- When you leave on vacation you’re typically tired, stressed and ready for a break.  This condition can lead to a clash of selfish wills among family members if you don’t clarify expectations.  Cindy and I learned a long time ago that there are two different types of vacations.  There’s a mom and dad vacation where we get away and do what we want. (Which tends to be lay around and read a lot.)  Then there’s a family vacation where you go somewhere you can do a lot of activities the whole family will enjoy.  Even during these high activity vacations you still need downtime so make sure you communicate and clarify every one’s expectations in order to keep frustration levels down and refreshment levels up.

2.  Create Memories- We’ve always lived on a pretty tight budget so we haven’t always done extravagant vacations.  But your vacations don’t have to be extravagant to be great.  No matter where you go focus on building great memories.  On this trip we jet skied in the beautiful waters of Freeport, shopped downtown Nassau and ate foods we’d never eaten before (Octopus and more!)  My kids challenged me to do karoke and I stepped up to the challenge doing a James Taylor number “It Used to Be Her Town Too”.  We captured it on video but the rights are reserved for our family only! 

3. Let your family see you take a true break from work.  The temptation for me is always to drag along a few books, a computer and check email on occasion throughout the week.  But not this time.  We were totally unplugged for nearly 6 days.  This allowed us to focus on and connect with each other in a deeper, richer way. 

Do you remember your first car, first kiss, first job?  Firsts are hard to forget because they’re so special.  The emotional impact of “Firsts” create deep seeded memories in your mind.  “Firsts” leave a lasting impression.  That’s why as leaders we must intentionally plan some” Firsts” in our lives that will impact our continual spiritual growth.

Many people develop bucket lists, things  they hope to accomplish before they die.  Typically this is a list of “Firsts” that bring us satisfaction.  That’s not a bad thing but today I want so suggest you have a second type of bucket list as well.  A lists of things that you want to do that will stretch you and produce growth in your walk with Christ.  This is a list of things that are oriented around serving rather than satisfaction. 

One of the “Firsts” that I wrote down on my SERVE bucket list two years ago was to teach leadership on six of the continents of the world.  In the past couple of years I’ve had the privilege of training leaders in North America, South America and Asia.  And now this week I experienced my first opportunity to teach leadership in Africa and it proved to be a transformational experience for me.  While I came as a teacher, I leave a student.  I have never seen such struggle, desperation and hopelessness.  Yet I have never witnessed such faith, courage and sacrifice for the sake of the Gospel.  The lifestyle of the believers here has left me humbled and hungry to know God more.   This is a “First” I will never forget and pray has forever changed me.

What are some “Firsts” you can put on your Serve Bucket List?

Are you in a season of life where you’re not sure what God’s doing, yet you sense He’s up to something? You can’t see what’s next but you get a clear sense there’s a next coming?  God uses transition periods not only to grow us as leaders but also to bring us back to baseline dependence on Him. Transitions are seldom clear, rarely without sacrifice and never easy. Yet there are times God unexpectedly brings new assignments that will stretch and grow us in ways we had not imagined.

I’ve stood at that crossroad of a potential transition a few times in my life.  I remember when I was an associate pastor at Pawleys Island community Church, I was happy and thought I would be there my whole life.  Then without warning God stirred a discontent in my spirit. No one made me angry, hurt my feelings or offended me in anyway, there was just a strange sense that God was moving me. While the feeling was clear the direction was not.  So I decided to go on a journey of discovery and through this process God miraculously made it clear that I was to plant a church in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.

If you get a sense that God may be preparing you for a change make sure you position yourself to listen intently for His will. Here’s a process that’s helped me navigate a couple of transitions over the past 20 years. 

• Set aside a specified time for a Journey of Discovery.  I’m not saying to put God on a time limit, but I am suggesting that you determine a period of time where you focus intensely on listening for God’s direction.  When I was sensing a change at Pawleys Island I chose to do a 90 day journey. 
• Fast and Pray.  During my tine of uncertainty in Pawleys Island I decided to fast every Thursday.  This intensified time of prayer lead me to a greater sense of dependence and surrender.
• Study a Specific Passage or Biblical Character.  Asked God to show you a specific Scripture that will be your primary devotional focus during this time. In my early 90’s transition I studied the book of Nehemiah.  During my 2004 transition that brought me to Seacoast Church I studied the life of Abraham. 
• Seek Godly Counsel- On two different occasions I asked 7 men to meet with me one on one that I might seek their counsel.  These were men I knew and trusted.  Men I felt had a sense of what God may be doing in my life.  Or in some cases they were men who had been down a similar path that I was currently on.  Their counsel proved to be invaluable.  I journaled the highlights of everyone of those conversations and would go back again and again to review what God was saying to me.
• Journal daily God Sightings.  During my time of seeking I journaled like a mad man capturing every little whisper of God’s voice.  I looked for daily “God sightings”, those small things you see God doing in your life that give you indications of His will.  Do this over a 30, 60 or 90 day period and you will be amazed how active God is in giving you daily direction.
• Journey With Your Spouse.  Many times when you’re feeling a transition coming you’re tempted to keep it from your spouse so they won’t worry.  But God wants to use your spouse as part of the confirmation process.  If you keep if from them you’re limiting their joy and potentially their sense of peace during this discovery process.  When I was considering a transition from Pawleys Island I talked with my wife daily about the journey and what God was saying to her.  In the end she was convinced of what God was doing before I was.

I’ve used this process for three major transitions in my life. While this may not work for you the point is if God is whispering, “I have something new for you” define a process that will help you listen to His heart in an intensified way.

1. Speak positively about your leader and organization at all times.
2. When you disagree with a decision or the direction of the organization speak only with those who have the authority to represent your concern.
3. Use your interpersonal skills to build team unity rather than builing a personal following.  (Are you seeking loyalty to yourself or supporting loyalty to the organization?)
4. Be an asset to your organization by demonstrating a positive attitude even in the tough times.  The attitude each one of us displays shapes the corporate culture in which we work. 
5. Avoid using negative body language to communicate your frustration or dissatisfaction with the leadership of your organization.
6. Work hard and go the extra mile.
7. Express gratitude for the positive characteristics of your leader and organization.

Remember loyalty is demonstrated in your words and actions and is a reflection of your character.  What would you add to this list?

As leaders we spend much of our time focused on others.  While this is very fulfilling, it can also be very draining.  Sometimes we need to take the opportunity to do simple things that will refuel us mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physically, relationally and socially.   Here are a few things you can consider doing this weekend that will make life better.  Just don’t try to do ALL of them.  Thanks for your readership and I hope you have a great weekend!

1. Take a long walk or bike ride with your spouse and enjoy being outside.
2. Have a conversation with one of your children and practice looking deeply into their eyes and really listen.
3. Write out your schedule for all of next week.  (This can actually take some stress off if you’re overwhelmed)
4. Go on a non-movie date with your wife and ask each other 5 questions that will be fun and get you talking about things you don’t normally talk about.
5. Write out your fitness and nutrition plan for next week.
6. Go somewhere you won’t be disturbed and do a 3 hour study and prayer retreat.
7. Throw a Superbowl Party with your closest friends.
8. Go explore your city and try to discover something new.
9. Sleep in late and when you wake up stay in bed and read.
10. Go to Starbucks and pay for a strangers coffee.
11. Update your personal budget.
12. Ask your kids, “What do you want to do today?” and then do it no matter what they say.

What’s one thing you’re going to do this weekend that will make life better?

No matter how good our plans there are times we as leaders face disappointments.  The dictionary says, Disappointment is a feeling of being let down, a feeling of sadness or frustration because something was not as good, attractive, or satisfactory as expected, or because something hoped for did not happen”   As I look back over my years in ministry there have been several times I can recall having this disheartening emotion.  Unchecked disappointment leads to discouragement, cynicism or even a sense of resignation.  It’s interesting that God encourages us to plan, yet allows unexpected detours or interruptions to those plans.  While frustrating, detours are beneficial because they remind me that I’m not in control and keep me listening to the heart of God.  I have to remind myself that it ’s frequently God’s plan that things not go as I planned.  And God desires to use the detours, interruptions and obstacles to grow my courage, persistence, patience, endurance, character and humility. When a leader engages disappointment by listening to the Truth of God he hears, “Keep on believing, keep moving forward, I’ve not abandoned you…I’m simply growing you.”

Facing an unexpected disappointment today?  Check out Jesus words in John 15:1-2 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prune so that it will be even more fruitful.

A friend of mine who is a Christian Counselor came in town recently and we had the chance to spend several hours together.  During that time, like a doctor probing and prodding, he asked me a battery of questions.  Then, before I knew it he hit some tender spots on my soul.  He identified some patterns in my life that were hurting my physical, emotional and spiritual health.  Saddly in the busyness of serving God I had totally missed the weakening condition of my soul.

As spiritual leaders we’ve dedicated our lives to serve God and as a result we spend much of our time thinking about, serving, loving and giving to others.  And if we aren’t careful this inordinate amount of time focused on the spiritual health of others can actually cause us to neglect our own soul.  Repentance must be a regular part of our regimen if we desire to remain spiritually healthy leaders.    This is crucial because repentance removes the contaminating effects of self and realigns the soul of the leadeer with the heart of God.

Typically when the Holy Spirit helps us identify the sin in our lives our response is to change our behavior.   But for repentance to really do it’s work we must look at the belief behind our behavior. Repentance is more than just changing our behavior, it’s about changing our minds.  If we simply change our  behavior without changing our thinking, our thinking will eventually lead us back to the very same behavior.

So what can we do to ensure that repentance is having it’s full work in our lives?

1. Make time for Regular Examination.  David said in Psalm 139 “Search me, try me and see if there be any wicked way in me.”  Need some help with this check out Examen.me by CLICKING HERE
2. Find an accountability partner that loves you and will be brutally honest with you.  Need a resource for accountability? CLICK HERE.
3. Ask yourself the right questions.  When the Holy Spirit identifies a sin in your life and don’t forget to ask: “Why am I doing this?”  “What is the false belief behind my behavior?”  “What is the Truth I need to hold on to?” 
4. Walk forward in the joy of grace.  Write Robert McGee’s quote on a 3×5 and keep in nearby.  In his book Search for Signficance he writes, “Because of Christ’s redemption, I am a new creation of infinite worth. I am deeply loved, I am completely forgiven I am fully pleasing, I am totally accepted by God.  I am absolutely complete in Christ.” 

As I sat down and began to wrestle through my 2010 Personal Leadership Growth Plan my mind immediately went to the books, tools, systems and people that could help me increase my leadership competency. While it looked good on paper “my plan” seemed deficient.  Then Jesus words from John 15 went through my mind, “Without me you can do nothing.”   As these words sank deeper into my thinking it reinforced what I already know…I don’t want to lead without Him.   I don’t want to lead without hearing His voice, feeling His promptings, sensing His guidance or knowing His will.  Yet, truth be known, too often I find myself walking dangerously close to the edge of self-sufficiency.

When you’ve lead for a while and discovered your leadership strengths, solidified your leadership style, anchored your leadership values and grasped your leadership vision it becomes easier to lead without a desperate dependence on God.

You know if we aren’t careful our efforts to grow as leaders can simply become external adjustments …switch time management systems, learn new leadership techniques, network with the “right” people, all the while neglecting the essentials that make us stronger spiritual leaders. 

I recall when I surrendered my life to ministry at 18 my focus wasn’t on being a leader, it was on being a servant.  That’s the unique difference between leadership and spiritual leadership.  Spiritual leadership is seeking the heart of God and surrendering yourself to advance the will of God.  And developing as a spiritual leader requires more than reading a book or finding a new management technique, it requires the inner work of repentance, surrender, humility and perseverance.  I don’t necessarily know how to write these into a plan but I know they are essential for me to be the servant He has called me to be in 2010.

What do you need to do this week to take steps to grow as a spiritual leader?