On this Thanksgiving day I am reminded of how thankful I am for the mentors and mentees in my life.  Gratitude has the power to bond two people in a very special way.   That’s why it’s an essential element in the mentor-mentee relationship. 

While Timothy was undoubtably grateful for the investment Paul made in his life, I find it interesting that Paul expressed his gratitude for the relationship as well.  He wrote, “I thank God…as night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers” 2 Tim 1:3.  He was thankful for this young man who followed, listened and learned from him.  And thankful to have someone who would carry on what had been started.

Expressing thanks to those who faithfully follow you deepens their loyalty, increases their confidence and enlarges their hunger to learn.  So take some time over the next couple of days to look one of your faithful followers in the eyes and say, Thank you for growing along side me, I appreciate your loyalty and consider myself blessed to know you.”

So to all you mentees out there, we say a great big thanks to you today…the future is bright because of your hunger and willingness to be teachable.

I looked around my living room knowing I needed to select an apprentice for my small group but, Who?  Who was ready?  Who was willing?  After praying, surprisingly God seemed to indicate that Roger should be the one.  Others in the group had more natural leadership abilities, charisma and tenure as a Christian but there was just something special about Roger’s spirit. I spent the next few months working with him, giving him opportunities to lead, offering him feedback and encouragement.  As I elevated him in front of the group he gained confidence.  In time he began to hone his leadership skills and before I knew it he had a group of his own that was thriving.  I have to admit he was really bad those first couple of months and I questioned my decision but eventually he became one of the best leaders in our church. 

Have you ever found yourself looking around your small group wondering, “How do I know who to choose?”  Too often we put off the decision and just wait until we find a readymade leader.  But the truth is God wants to use you to identify and shape a potential leader.  When it comes time to choose an apprentice I use two filtering questions.

First, is there a strong hunger to grow?
A principle I like to share with small group leaders is:  growing people, grow people.  If someone is growing in their walk with Christ they will be talking about it and there will be undeniable evidenced in their walk.  When others get around them they can’t help but be influenced by them.  So look for someone who you see growing in their faith.

Second, do they have influence with people? 
In Roger’s case people liked him, they listened to him, and they had a respect for him.  He wasn’t a good discussion leader and he didn’t know the Bible very well, but people respected him enough that they were patient as he developed.

Do you have an apprentice in your group?  If not, my guess is God has placed someone in your group He wants you to identify, recruit and invest in.

I find that everyone is fascinated by the concept of mentoring, but few feel capable to actually mentor someone.  Too often the extent of our mentoring is giving someone a book or a CD and telling them to listen to it so they can “learn” to be a leader.  But simply dispensing information like this does little to produce transformation.  So let me give you Three Easy Steps for Mentoring.

EXPLORE – The first thing you want to do is get your mentee to THINK about a specific leadership skill or principle.  You can do this by giving them something to read, watch, research or listen to. Give them some time to explore and think about the material you’ve given them.
EXPERIENCE – Next you want the mentee to TRY it.  Just reading about a leadership principle doesn’t mean you really get it.  We learn best by putting something into practice.  So take one of the leadership principles they learned from their reading or listening (Explore) and give them a challenging assignment that will give them the opportunity to put that prnciple into practice.
EVALUATE – Finally you want the mentee to TALK about their experience.  Once they have tried the new skill they need the opportunity to discuss how it felt, how it went, what they learned. Ask them questions like:  What did you do well?  What would you do differently?  What kind of response did you get from others?  What did you learn from the experience?

This process is so powerful because it’s more than dispensing information, it actually produces transformation. 
EXPLORE + EXPERIENCE + EVALUATE = TRANSFORMATION

Who will you try this with this week?  Check back in tomorrow because I am going to actually give you a mentoring session that follows this format you can use with your mentee or your team.

A pastor friend of mine, Russ Miller of James Island Christian Church, had a guest speaker come to his church recently to talk about the value of family.  The speaker blew everyone’s minds when he said, “I want to share my 150 year plan for my family.”  I’ve heard of a one year plan, a three year plan and even a ten year plan…but that is the first I’ve ever heard of someone having a 150 year plan.  Now that’s some “far out” thinking, if you know what I mean.

I think there is a great leadership principle here for us:  Think in terms of Generations.  Paul does this in 2 Timothy 2:2

“And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others. ”

Do you see it? Paul is challenging Timothy to think multiplication way beyond himself.  His mentoring was going from…

Paul   -   Timothy   -   Reliable men   -   Others

This would make Paul the Leadership Great Grandfather of the “Others”.  As you look at your own leadership challenge yourself to do some “far out” thinking.  When you’re mentoring someone challenge them to be developing someone who will develop someone.  Wouldn’t it be great to get to the end of your life and know that you’re the Leadership Great Grandfather of hundreds of leaders?

What can you do this week to begin to think and act in terms of generations?

I read through 2 Timothy last night.  Check out just a few of the imperatives in these 4 short chapters.  Paul told Timothy… fan into flame the gift of God, do not be ashamed, join with me in suffering, guard the good deposit, be strong, endure hardship, do your best to handle God’s Word accurately, flee evil desires, preach the Word, keep your head in all situations.

Paul was pushing Timothy.  Pushing him to exercise the gifts God had given him.  Pushing him to overcome the stronghold of fear that had a grip on his life.  Pushing him to be strong in his leadership.

You know it is easy to find someone to encourage me, but finding someone to push me is a little trickier.  I want that “pusher” to be someone who knows me, knows my gifts, my passion, my strengths and sees how those work together to make up who God has created me to be.   I want my “pusher” to be someone who believes in me, who sees me bigger than what I really am, who sees a God sized potential in me.  I want my “pusher” to be someone who loves me, who wants to walk beside me and do life with me and go with me to the end.

Do you have a “pusher” in your life?  If not, take a risk and invite someone to give you a push this week.  And just as importantly, are you being a “pusher” to someone you know, love and believe in?